Is your baby hitting her milestones? Breastfeeding, Tongue Tie, & Infant Development with Dr. Allison Mell | Tots On Target
- jaimiezaki
- Jul 25
- 37 min read
Is your baby’s movement trying to tell you something about their breastfeeding struggles? Tongue Tie & Infant development are deeply connected. Let's learn how...
In this episode of The Breastfeeding With Confidence Podcast, I sit down with pediatric physical therapist Allison Mel to dive deep into a topic not enough providers are talking about—how baby motor development and breastfeeding challenges can be connected.
From tongue ties and body tension to the surprising ways swaddling can interfere with reflexes, this conversation is packed with eye-opening insights for parents who want to understand their baby’s body on a deeper level. If you’ve noticed things like head tilting, stiff arms, early rolling, or flat spots, you’ll want to listen closely—these are often overlooked signs that something deeper may be going on.
We also explore what it means to get a true functional assessment, the connection between bodywork and breastfeeding success, and how you can feel confident advocating for your baby even when your pediatrician brushes off your concerns.
This one is a must-listen if you're looking for holistic infant care, breastfeeding support, or just want to stop wondering if something is off with your baby’s movement.
👶✨ Because breastfeeding isn't just about the latch—it's about the whole baby.
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5 Mistakes that Sabotage Breastfeeding
In this episode, you'll learn about:
What baby movement red flags can tell us about underlying functional issues
How oral ties (like tongue and lip ties) impact full-body development
Why swaddling may interfere with natural reflexes and motor development
What to look for: head tilts, early rolling, stiffness, flat spots and more
The critical role of pediatric physical therapy in breastfeeding success
How to choose a supportive pediatrician (and what to do if yours isn’t)
Easy at-home stretches and bodywork strategies
The truth about “wait and see” vs early intervention
How to trust your gut and advocate confidently for your baby
The power of community inside Tots on Target Membership
RESOURCES: Breastfeeding Resource Library
⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 | Intro: Why your pediatrician's approach matters
00:17 | Welcome to the Breastfeeding With Confidence podcast
01:12 | Meet Allison Mel, Pediatric PT
01:47 | Oral ties and their impact on motor development
04:01 | Why swaddling might hinder breastfeeding and reflexes
09:23 | Movement red flags linked to oral restrictions
16:08 | Understanding flat spots and head shape concerns
21:19 | Full-body tension and ties—how they connect
23:45 | What is a functional body assessment for babies?
24:49 | Helping parents become confident advocates
25:52 | Baby bodywork: home exercises that help
27:20 | What is the Tots on Target membership?
29:45 | When to seek early intervention and why it matters
32:54 | Spotting atypical movements and what to do
41:16 | The importance of seeking specialized support
45:34 | Wrap-up and empowering final thoughts
Transcript:
and if they're not, then that's maybe a sign to switch pediatricians, because you wanna feel like somebody on your team and at the end of the day, your pediatrician has many, many, many babies that they are caring for and they tell you a bit of advice and then they go home.
And it doesn't mean that they don't care. It just means that they're not with your baby all day.
Hey Mama Bear. Welcome to the Breastfeeding With Confidence podcast. Do you dream of bonding with your baby through exclusive breastfeeding, but worry about breastfeeding pain or low milk supply? Maybe you're struggling with breastfeeding and no one seems to have any answers. I'm Jamie Doula, international Board certified lactation consultant, and Mom of five, and I have been where you are after working through painful latches, milk supply worries, and postpartum depression, and.
Supporting countless mothers through their breastfeeding journeys for over eight years. I'm here to tell you breastfeeding doesn't have to be perfect to be positive. Each week I'll share breastfeeding tips to help you prevent and overcome unexpected breastfeeding challenges so you can actually enjoy bonding with your baby.
If you are ready to shut out the toxic whispers of the world, embrace your God-given intuition and release your inner fierce Mama bear. Grab some coffee or your favorite herbal tea and let's dive in.
We have Allison Mel here with us today. She is a physical therapist. Allison, I'm gonna let you go ahead and introduce yourself. Tell everybody what it is you do and why you do it. Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to be here.
, As you said, I am a pediatric physical therapist and I work, I've worked with every age group from birth to age, like 10 11. , But in more recent years I've really concentrated on babies and their motor development, , going through the natural, you know, developmental sequence of rolling and sitting and crawling and walking.
Um, and I've also seen a tremendous pattern of babies who struggle with, um, you know, a history of oral ties or reflux, having a tremendous difficulty keeping up with their developmental milestones. And often the first sign of struggle with motor development is actually struggle. Nursing, breastfeeding, or even sometimes taking the bottle.
Um, and it's been really interesting to see how full body work can very much not only help with the feeding, but then help with all the motor development that follows it. I love that you, you touched on so many things. I am sure you saw me kinda looking down frantically 'cause I wanted to start writing things down so I could remember to come back and ask about them.
Um, but I agree. I think, you know, a lot of people look at tongue highs with breastfeeding as being a fad and kind of being something that, you know, like people are using it as a scam and everything. And it's like, well, if we're looking from a holistic perspective and we're trying to look at the whole body, there's, there's.
Implications beyond breastfeeding. And people always wanna go down the like speech route, which, yeah, that's maybe one of them, but that's not the only one. And so when we have that red flag early on, instead of being like, oh, it's only breastfeeding that's impacted, and then you can just bottle feed, it's not a big deal.
Um. I talk a lot about breastfeeding being like a vital sign, right? Yeah. And it's like if it's not working, it's a sign, there's a problem. And that's going to impact the child for the rest of their lives. Yeah. I'm not trying to sound too dramatic. Hundred percent, but there, there are so many different ways they impact them.
So, um, and you talked about reflux and all of that, so I just, I, yeah. You were talking and I just like lit up, like yes, everything she said, everything. So, um, talking about how ties can impact motor development, um, you, it made me think of how a lot of times we as a lactation consultant, I, I don't recommend swaddling a whole lot because I know there's gonna be a time and place for everything.
But I know that swaddling impacts. Feeding cues. Right? And then it also has impacts on reflex integration. And we need those reflexes working really well for breastfeeding to work well. So I'd love to hear kind of your thoughts on that, and maybe we can start going down the reflex integration and then start talking about other impact ties.
Yeah, yeah. There, there's so many things. So in terms of specifically swaddling, I know there's a lot of controversy on this topic. Oh, yeah. And, and I feel like. I always like to say like, every baby is different. Within, within, we want a range of normal. Right. And every baby's different. Every parent's gonna feel differently about it.
And so there's like, what's the gold standard and what is going to get you through the night? Right. Exactly. Exactly. That's why, that's why I said like in general, because Right. We sit there and say swaddle with hands out swaddle. Like take swaddle. Exactly. I think there's just a, societal expectation that we're gonna tightly swaddle babies and set them down until it's time to feed Correct.
And that's what I, I just wanna be clear to anyone listening. That's what I don't recommend. A hundred percent. And I, and I, so here's, here's the thing. That, and, and kind of pulling apart all of that and what, what does that mean? What do we have to think about? So. Why do we even swaddle babies in the first place?
It's, it's right. Babies back in the 1990s, which is now like, I feel like that was 10 years ago, but apparently it wasn't. Okay. , Um, but what, you know, in the early nineties and before babies replaced asleep on their bellies, and that is because babies, when. When they come out of the womb, they're used to being all cocooned, and they get all this like tight, , a tight, warm hug, right?
In utero. They come out into the world and now they have no frame of reference of where their body is in space. And so they're sitting there with their arms and legs out there and they're like, wait, I have no way to kind of ground myself and feel safe and secure. And so sometimes when babies are sleeping, they have certain reflexes like the Morrow reflex, which is the startle reflex.
It can, you know, make it difficult for babies to stay calm and they don't have what we call proprioceptive awareness, which is where is my body in space? That's one of our, our senses that's not so well known, and they don't know where their body's in space. So the, the reason we often swaddle our babies is to give them that.
Cocooned feeling to give them what? Now that we put our babies on their backs to sleep, we, we give them sort of this, um, you know, layer around them to make them feel nice and tight so that they know where their body is in space, which is calming to the nervous system. Um, however, right now we're, now we're preventing certain refluxes from.
Happening like that moral reflex on its own. And we want, we want a lot of free movement in order to integrate our primitive reflexes, which is what babies are born with in order, like their survival skills, essentially. Mm-hmm. Um. And so, so that, that's the positive aspect of swaddling, which is we're giving our babies something, you know, tight and cozy.
Why do we wanna have blankets on at night? Right. Right, right. However, it can also prevent movement from happening. Right? Yeah. And so, not only is it preventing these reflexes from happening on their own, but now babies can't move as much and they can't reach and they can't roll and they, and all these different things.
And we're like, but we don't wanna restrict baby's movement. Right? And so that's kind of like both sides of this like. I don't wanna say argument, but argument. Yeah. Um, right. And, and so I've, I've kind of taken a little bit more of a, a midway approach. I think that during the daytime and for naps, we should not be swaddling.
Let babies have their, you know, their refluxes have that free movement. And I think early on in like the newborn phase, I am okay with swaddling 'cause we're. Expecting much movement, you know, overnight to like help calm that nervous system. But once babies are starting to try to get outta the swaddle, once they're starting to reach, we should no longer be swaddling.
For sure. I really appreciate that. You're mentioning it doesn't have to be black and white. Yeah. It doesn't have to be swaddle. No swaddle. And I know some people are probably like, what does this have to do with 10 times and breastfeeding? Right. I promise it does. I promise it does because it, first of all, it's just that understanding that not everything has to be black and white.
And not to go off on a tangent, but um, with that proprioceptive input too, if we are, you know, if we have those attachment parenting where we're wearing the baby more, or if you are safely post sleeping, that all kind of changes the conversation as well. Totally. And so it, it's just always remembering there's.
So many different nuances to this, but when we are talking about those reflexes, they're really important for breastfeeding. Yeah. They're really, really important for breastfeeding. And um, I just wanted to touch on that 'cause I know it's a controversy that everybody kind of is like, oh, swaddling is gonna ruin breastfeeding and I don't believe that it's gonna ruin breastfeeding, but I think it's.
Definitely beneficial to not swaddle too much. And so I love your approach of like, yeah, not during the daytime, but overnight. Yeah. And I, and I think that, you know, it's, as I said at the beginning, there's always the gold standard and then it's being a mom myself of four kids. Oh yeah. And knowing that, sometimes you're like, I, you know, sometimes the gold standard goes out the window and you're like, I gotta do what my baby needs me to do.
And that's what it's Exactly. Exactly. And so, you know, uh, a lot of parents will be like, oh, well I have to get them. I have to swaddle them or else. They'll, they're gonna wake up and we wanna get that long stretch and it's like, okay, how long of a stretch are we talking? Because we don't necessarily want too long of a stretch.
Yeah. So that's other aspects to the breastfeeding side of that conversation. Totally. But to kinda get back on track, I'm sorry I derailed us. Um, to kinda get back on track, uh, when you are working with these babies who are starting to move and what kind of movements are you looking for to say like, oh, maybe there's a tie here.
Like where, how do you see this movement and the ties being connected? Yeah, I, I can tell people from my perspective, we've talked about it on here before, what I look for, um, that I would end up referring them out for body work. Totally right. And so I'll say, personally speaking, I'm not a, a specific tongue tie expert and what I am, I say I I am really good at the neck down.
Mm-hmm. Um, the everything neck down is like my area of specialty. But what I, what I've seen consistently with babies who have the history of t and this is, has been consistent whether or not they've been released or not released, but. I always think like, well, what was the positioning in utero when this baby had the tie?
Like, it's all connected, right? And so whether, even if you released it at two days old, your baby has, has been in utero for, you know, growing now for approximately nine months and they're positioning. I just think it's all related, but what I've seen. Is again, aside from the feeding difficulties, which is not my area of expertise, um, we, we see a head turning preference, right?
Babies always looking in one direction. Sometimes it can be related to torticollis, which is, um, a tilt of one side of the hedge towards one side, consistently, right? Newborns are always gonna kind of tilt to one side 'cause they, they can't really hold their heads in a midline position. But if you're noticing your baby's.
Consistently, um, tilting to one side, that is when the neck muscle is, um, is specifically tight causing that tilt. And that's a specific thing called torticollis, but it, it can be. In, you know, seen in combination with oral ties sometimes Yes, no. Um, and so you're noticing if, right, if there's a consistent head turning preference, if there's, you know, tilting, if there's any sort of asymmetry in the body, if there's any sort of tension in the body, your baby feels very tense.
And as they start moving a little bit more now. Three months, four months, five months, and their movements just feel very rigid. You're changing their diaper and they just feel very rigid, like you can't move them fluidly. Those are all signs of tension throughout the body that is often originating with an oral tie.
I love that you. Said about the diaper changes, because I'm always looking at baby's hips when I'm doing an assessment, especially in person. I'm like, all right, like we, we check the whole body and we look for those things. The asymmetry, like we check for reflexes, are they expressing more on one side than the other?
And we're looking at all of that. And I'm always asking like. How hard are diaper changes? Like do you feel like you have to fight your baby? Do, can you move their hips? And that's always so telling. I want parents listening to hear like if, if your baby's diaper changes are hard, it doesn't seem like one of those obvious signs, but it's one little things that you could be like, oh, well I've got this, this, this, and this going on.
Exactly. Now I'm seeing this and this too. Maybe it's not just supposed to be this hard, this normal struggle, but. Correct. And you know, parents might think, what is the, what do the hips have to do with the mouth right now? Yes. We've all heard the song, right? The hip bones are connected to the, you know, thigh bones or whatever, right?
Where we're like, we know the whole body's connected, but I actually, several years ago I was treating a baby whose mom, um, called me. She was actually an ot. Her mom was an ot. And so she's like, I know something's not right. And she said, her, her, the baby feels very tense. And she was like in the newborn stage.
Very, very tense. So I went out. I was stretching the hips and I'm stretching the neck and I'm stretching everything within a few weeks. It was very interesting. She started drooling very heavily during every feed. Like her, the entire feed was like all over her. She, because all the tension she was carrying in the rest of her body was supporting her mouth.
Okay? So once we started relaxing the rest of the body. Now her mouth couldn't do the job. And so it's just very interesting. It's, it's the, all the muscles throughout the body, if they're tense, they're doing something because of something lacking somewhere else. Yeah, no, we talk a lot about compensation.
Exactly. Especially when I have parents who are like, um, okay, so we know there's a tie, but I'm not sure if I wanna release or not. And I'm like, that decision is completely up to you, but you need to understand that things might be quote. Better because we did these certain exercises, but there's still compensations.
Yeah. It's not necessarily function just because quote, it's working. So yeah. That's such a great explanation of what that looks like visually. When we remove those compensations. Right, exactly. And then suddenly it's like, what do we do? Um. That's why a whole body approach really is so, so important.
, What do you think of babies who roll over in the first three weeks? Oh, so, and I had one of those, I my, one of my, um, one of my babies when, when he was a baby. , He rolled very, very, very early. And I was like, oh my, you know, I'm a pt. My baby's a rockstar. And, and that is not true actually. Um, it's not at all what really happened.
A lot of babies who are rolling over. Uh, especially if they're really in those newborn stages. While we'd love to, maybe your baby is a rockstar, but it is not, we are not seeing that with the rolling specifically. It's usually because of tension. They, they are either very uncomfortable on their bellies because of maybe reflux.
There's something going on that they're very uncomfortable and so they're weight shifting back and forth. Or there's so much tension that it's causing them to arch their backs and then they're rolling over. And so if you're seeing your baby now again, sometimes it does happen accidentally, right? Oh, happens your baby wait shifts and all of a sudden they have no idea how they got over and you're not going to see it again.
But, and, and that's okay. By the way, if you do see it once, parents will also say, well, my baby rolled over when they were two months, and then they stopped. And I'm like. That that's okay. Right. Because they're not supposed to be rolling over till they're somewhere between four and six months old. So if you're seeing that very early on, again, if it's time four and six months, four to six months.
Oh wow. Like when we wanna see, when we, when we expect to see rolling. Wow. I always heard that being a little earlier, like. Two to four months. Yeah. Two to four months is very, two months is very early. Wow. Yeah. We really wanna see babies rolling at four to six months. That's really the time. And so if your baby's three months old and not rolling, that is totally fine.
Okay. Really, four to six months is belly to back and back to belly. That any, um, it could, it could start. With either direction. Um, but, but babies who the things that we wanna pay attention to, even within that timeframe is right. Are they able to go to either side? Right? Is it to the right side, to the left side?
Are they only preferring one side? Yeah. , And that's something also you wanna pay attention to as a red flag. In addition to just kind of like rolling milestones, what we expect to see there with movement and tension. I know a lot of parents notice that maybe their baby's head is growing kind of flat and there's a lot, you know, we say like, oh, tummy time, do more tummy time. But a lot of parents are like, I'm doing the tummy time and my baby's head is still flat, and the pediatrician's not concerned.
They said to just wait and watch. Should they wait and watch? Is there something they can do sooner? What is causing that? Yeah, so as we said before, when babies are sleeping on their backs or they like to spend a lot of time on their backs, now we're putting a lot more pressure on the back of the head, , that, you know, they're not getting.
Round it out and, and all that because it's softer. When babies are born, it's, it's more likely that we're gonna have some sort of divot they're developing. We, and we have some sort of flatness. Um, and we, we definitely, you know, we wanna avoid that when we can, but it can be really difficult 'cause babies spend a lot of time on their backs.
So number one is, firstly, you're not doing anything wrong if this happens, right? We wanna just take a look and notice it, and then do what we can. Out of that tummy time alone is not going to change your baby's head shape. We think of it like a balloon, right? If you press on one side and then you relieve the pressure, all of a sudden it's going to expand.
I even thought that initially before I started working with babies, I actually, one of my babies had a flatter spot. I actually think he had a very mild tie that I never. Knew about at the time he, he did have a flat spot and of course the pediatrician was in concern. , And I just thought, if you do more tummy time, that's going to resolve.
Now, as I've gotten more into the baby world, I've for sure realized that that is absolutely not going to happen because it's not going to inflate. Now that you relieved the pressure, what we actually have to do is apply pressure on other areas of the head to then counterbalance that. I, so that's, that's really either through a helmet, that's what a helmet would do if it's more severe or, , or even just positioning baby in a sideline position on, on the side of their head, on the other side of their head.
We want to add more pressure to the other areas of the head in order to counterbalance that. So tummy time alone is not going to change your baby's head shape. , It also will. If your baby is developing a flat spot, this is again, a sign that something else from the neck down is also going on. That why is baby not able to move and shift their head.
So even if they're lying on their backs in, in their cribs at night, they should be able to rotate to the left, to the right. Why aren't they doing that? Right. Right. No, I think that's such a great question. I've never thought of it like that because. I mean, most of my babies just slept on my, on my, on their belly, on my chest, so, right.
I'm a rule breaker. But, , whenever they did lay on their backs, like they never just sat there with their head in the middle. They always picked one side. So I was always like, why are we, why are, why not? We didn't have flat spot issues, but I often thought that like. Why do people get flat spots on the back and like, 'cause who I can't even lay on the back of my head all the time.
But then you can see flat spots on the side too. So we go back to that. If we're only turning in one direction, we're putting all the pressure Exactly. On that side, so, exactly. So things that nobody's thinking to look at. Exactly. So you're seeing either flatness on the back of the head. One of the things to do also is try to avoid containers.
And I say that very, you know, again, I'm not an all for, not all or nothing, you know, therapist, of course. And what are, what are containers? , It's anything that restricts your baby's movement. So that includes a car seat, a baby's swing, , you know, any sort of thing. Car seats are, are actually a big one because they really, really limit baby's movement overall.
And then baby. Can't really move their, their neck much either. So they're like in there and they are, they're tight, you know, and so we wanna, you know, of, of course you can go on errands and you can pick up your older child from school and you could do all those things with your baby in the car seat. But you wanna, you know, be mindful of how much time your baby is spending in a car seat, in a bouncy seat, in a swing.
Anything that's restricting that sort of movement. Um. But you also wanna pay attention to where is that flat spot developing? Right. Is it on the back where they're not really able to turn their neck much at all? Or is it on one side of the right or left side where what I mentioned before about that head turning preference, if baby's always looking to the right, they're going to then probably get a flat spot on that side of the head.
'cause that's the direction they're always looking in and they're not counterbalancing that pressure. And so that's something to then look at. Why is your baby developing on that right side? It means that they can't easily rotate their head to the other direction. And that's something that we really wanna look into, again, from the neck down, what's going on.
And then if it's becoming more severe, we wanna then either get a helmet or some other, you know, intervention that's going to help counterbalance that. Yeah, for sure. And this because. Go ahead. Yeah, just, just, just to add one thing, , when pediatricians say, you know, it's, oh, don't worry about it, don't worry about it, and I don't want parents to worry about this, but it is something to pay attention do because it can actually cause facial asymmetries if it is severe on the back of the head.
On one side you can see facial asymmetries and, and we don't want that 'cause Yeah, no, and we can fix it. And then that impacts. Speeding. Right? Correct. It's like it's all a big circle. And that's exactly what I was gonna say is this comes back to the whole body's connected and maybe it's not a tongue tie, right?
Yeah. Maybe it's not a tongue tie there. It could be just a bad positioning in utero. Mom's hips were misaligned and it like, there's a hundred percent, there's so many different things it can be, we're not saying it's automatically a tie, but. It often is, and when it is like we do see these things go together.
Yeah. So it's one of those things that's, it's worth ruling out. And if you think about the comment you made before about how the hips. You know, the, the tightness and the hips was basically supporting the mouth. Well, when there's tension under here, under the chin and in the jaw, that's, and, and the head's being pulled flat, that all is connected too.
So that's why we've gotta say we see this happening. It doesn't mean it's a tie, but we really, really should look into this. And if you are having feeding issues. Again, um, working with a lactation consultant is really important because we're gonna be able to determine, you know, is there like a, a functional issue under that tongue where the tongue's not working or is it more of a, um, baby's just got a, a preference and we need to work on that side preference because they just have tension on that side and Exactly.
They kind of fleshing that out to understand exactly what it is. And that's why when I work with moms who are dealing with ties. I always say like, we're gonna address these body things before we release. Yeah. We're always gonna address the this asymmetry before we release. I mean, the goal is not to make it perfect before we release, but it's to see what happens when we start that progress.
Do we see improvement? Do we see changes? Do we Sometimes I've seen where the tie actually is more prominent after the body work. Interesting. Yeah, because it, the tension just shifts, right? Like the tension, all shifts gotta go somewhere. It'll be Exactly. So it'll, sometimes it'll be more visually prominent, which is really good because it can help us say like, yes, this is the problem.
Yes. Other times that that tension all melts away and they start getting function and it's like, yeah, we could have ended up doing a release that we didn't need to do. That would've done nothing more than release some tension and not tell it where to go. Exactly. , Exactly. And it's, it's, that's like the whole approach of really looking at the whole body and the functionality of what we're going for.
It's, it's all those pieces combined. It's, we wanna make sure that baby is set up for success. And when we look at the whole body together, we're going to see such a difference rather than isolating one area. Exactly. Exactly. And I, I even talk about that when we're doing functional assessments with the mouth.
I'm like, your baby can do these movements in isolation. But sometimes they can do it in isolation and they can't put it together, so we can't get, you know, hung up on, oh, well they can stick their tongue out. That doesn't necessarily mean anything. That's great that they can do that, but it, it doesn't necessarily mean anything in the whole picture.
So if a parent is listening and this mom's like, oh my gosh, my baby has a flat spot and her hips are tight and she prefers one side and we're having trouble feeding. . What can they do? What do you recommend they do? Obviously you're a pt, you, you believe in body work and physical therapy. , Sometimes they have to kind of, you know, get through the gatekeeper of the pediatrician who doesn't wanna get referrals.
Yeah. So what, what can they do, you know, to like, just at home, just with themselves and then to start advocating to get the help that they need. Yeah. And firstly, it's it. You as a parent are your baby's best advocate. So you always need, and I've been this in this position many times over and over again, right?
You're the one who sees your baby on a daily basis. You're the one who knows all the ins and outs and the little habits that your pediatrician is getting a moment in time, you know? And that's if your baby's not sleeping and that's screaming and you know, whatever it is. During those well visits. It's important that you always feel confident that you are your baby's best advocate.
So ask for what you need. That's like number one, first and foremost. And it's a very uncomfortable feeling. 'cause when you go anywhere, you're like, well they're, they're the professional. They know. But you know what? You are the professional when it comes to your baby. That's, I always say, you are the expert on your baby.
And guys listening, if you have listened to my other episodes, you have heard. Lisa say this, you have heard me say it, and now Allison is saying it. You are the expert on your baby. Yes. Always. Right? And, and it's important that you feel that because it, you can feel like, I don't wanna say anything. They know what they're talking about.
You know, your baby. So get what you need. And that's, and that's first, first line of everything, right? So that's, that's number one. Number two is there, I, I've seen so much success with very simple stretches that are, are so. Effective. , Listen, earlier is always better. , The earlier you can get in and start, you know, doing simple stretches can make a world of difference for feeding.
But if that's not, you know, uh, if you haven't gotten there and your baby's already five months old, six months old, the stretches are still extremely, extremely effective. Some things as simple as, you know, rolling the hips in one direction, you know, in the other, right. Taking them together. Clockwise a few times, encounter clockwise a few times, and if your baby starts arching his back or starts trying to get out of it, you're like, ah, there's something, there's something there.
Right? And I actually teach, um, all these stretches as part of my membership. That I have, I have whole modules, um, dedicated to stretching on, uh, you know, how to do very, very simple stretches, arm stretch, shoulder stretches, trunk, hips, even, all the way down to the feet. , Because I want parents to actually be able to do this themselves at home.
And the reason also that it's, it's helpful for parents to do this at home is because even going once a week to therapy, which if you're doing that amazing, great, but. You're going to see more outcome. If you're going to do these stretches on a daily basis at home, two or three times a day, you're going to see so much more change on doing things on a regular basis than just once a week.
. So tell me more about your membership.
, I run a platform Tots on Target. , And that's my handle on all the different social media channels, tots on target. And , I can also be found@hotsontarget.com. As part of that umbrella, I run the hotspot membership, which is geared towards parents. , And we have families from literally all over the world, which is.
Amazing. And as, as part of the membership, you get access to all of my courses. So that includes milestone courses for rolling, sitting, crawling, and walking. And as part of those, , those courses, I include modules for stretching full body stretches that help. Babies with a history of oral ties or reflux or torticollis.
, I also have an infant massage course, which is extremely beneficial for a lot of these babies who are extremely tense, who are, you know, need some of that extra sensory input. It's extremely beneficial. Has facial massage, , hips, feet, , arms, all of that. , It's really fantastic course. And then in addition, it's not just, you know.
You can go watch the course on your own, you absolutely can do that. Plus you get access to me. So I run weekly live, , q and a calls where any member who wants can jump on. They get a few minutes to chat with me directly about their baby. And then they also can,, post questions in our. , Community forum where they can ask me questions about what their baby's doing, um, how to help them do X, Y, Z, and I will answer them directly and make sure that they have a game plan for ongoing support gearing up towards meeting their next milestones.
First of all, I think it gives parents so much. Agency back because like you said, you're the expert on your baby and you're at home with them all day. Uh, this is absolutely nothing against going to therapy, obviously, because there is such value in that. I don't wanna sound like I'm saying don't go to therapy.
. Just being able to do that at home there. There's just something about not having to pack the kids up and fit this thing into your schedule and go to this place where they're gonna, maybe not necessarily intentionally, but make you feel like you are less than and they're the expert. And there's this hierarchy.
You are walking alongside them, guiding them. . Yes. And what we've seen is so interesting. , We have so many different types of members that come for different reasons, right? One is. Their pediatrician will not refer them out and they feel frustrated. They keep hearing wait and see, wait and see, wait and see.
And they're like, I don't know what I'm waiting for. 'cause I'm not seeing anything. So it's, they're, they're tired of feeling helpless. Yeah. So that's number one that they join. Number two is , in the United States. Every state has access to an early intervention program where you can get a free inter uh, evaluation, which most pediatricians don't tell these families that they can actually call themselves many, many families can access early intervention, which is the state's, , program for services. And that covers zero to three years old. And a lot of families don't realize that they can call themselves and get a free evaluation.
, But you have to qualify for services. And so if your baby is not a certain amount delayed, you don't qualify for services. , So again, we have parents who are coming because they're, they're. Pediatrician is not referring them out. They don't know that they can access care or they don't qualify for care.
, And sometimes , depending on where they live, they don't have access to a pediatric pt, so you can get referred out. But you know, you live in a state that they don't have the, the PT is 45 minutes away. Mm-hmm. And you can barely get to them. The other ones are actually doing it in combination with, with getting therapy.
So they're going to. Therapy once a week or once a month, whatever they get, and they're like, you know what? I want more for my baby. I want more. I wanna be doing more at home. I'm home with them, or I have some time with them and I wanna feel like I'm contributing to their development. And so they join the program.
They're like, okay, we're, I'm doing this with my pt, but I really wanna do more at home. And that's where I come in and I help them implement. You know, whatever activities are going to really be successful. And what we're actually finding is parents are seeing more progress more quickly because they're implementing these activities on a regular basis more regularly than they are doing PT once a week in the clinic.
Um, and so when they're doing that, again, the, the progress is so quick, which is really. Is really validating for parents. Like, you know what, there was a problem. I knew that there was a problem, and now that I implemented these activities, I'm starting to see change really quickly. I love that. As much as I hate technology, sometimes there is no excuse for not being able to access the care that you need anymore because there are resources out there.
You just have to know how to find them. Exactly. And, and it's been so, so fascinating 'cause when I started this membership, I, I thought I was just giving families like, you know, extra things to do at home. Like that was what I started the premise of it. Then when I had parents joining and telling me, yeah, my baby hasn't made progress in three months and is just sitting still and isn't doing anything.
Or again, I brought up concerns for three months to my pediatrician and we're, we've gotten nowhere. Um, and I was like, wow, there is such a need out there. I'm also seeing families from Canada. UK Australia that their medical system does not support ongoing care in the way that many families need. And so I'm getting this international group as well who are coming and they're now feeling like, wow, we, like, I actually have access to care that I needed and I just couldn't beforehand.
That's so amazing. It's that it's really wonderful what you're doing and I love that. Is there anything else you wanna leave parents with before we wrap this up? I want parents to know that they, if they're noticing things that are any, a sort of atypical movement. Sometimes we're looking at, is my baby feeding?
Is my baby rolling? Is my baby able to sit up? The quality of movement is also really important when you're as as simple as right ahead. Turning preference, rigid movements, fluidity, movement. Any asymmetrical movement that you're noticing, those are all signs that something is going on in your baby's body.
And so while other people might tell you like, you're, you're just being a worried mom, stop worrying so much. Just let your baby be, there's a, you know, everyone's trying to convince you that there's that. That you are the worried one. Mm-hmm. But every parent, at the end of the day, what do we want? We want our kids to keep up with everybody else.
And this whole notion of, you know, don't compare your your baby to others. Right? There's like this, like, you know, oh, don't, don't compare your child. If you're gonna compare your child now you're doing something wrong. Well, there's actually nothing wrong with taking a look at how your baby's doing. Saying, well, how do other same age babies move and act?
Are they doing things that my baby isn't doing? It's informational. It's not comparison. Like you're trying to get your baby into a better preschool. Okay. Right. Not what we're at. It's not about is my baby better? Is my baby keeping up? Are they gonna be an Olympic gold medalist or go to Harvard one day?
That's not what I'm talking about at all. We want though, we, what we're taking in is information. About is my baby on track with their development or do I wanna pay more attention? Because in these early stages, there's so much that we can do to help. We want to, again, there's always a range of normal of what babies are able to do, and that's very important to know those ranges and so that we're not worried for no reason of course.
But if your baby is moving asymmetrically, right? I have some sometimes army crawlers who they're moving one arm, they're like shuffling with one arm and they're kicking off with the only one leg, but they're not using both arms together. And that actually is important information for us because. Those are, those are muscle groups that that children actually need later on in preschool and kindergarten for writing and coloring and climbing a ladder.
Things that we want them to be able to do. And so taking in that information now in these early stages, just taking note of that, is my baby moving fluidly, moving symmetrically? And are they keeping up with same age peers within the range of normal? Those are all good informational things to take in so that you know whether or not you wanna get some help.
And getting help for your baby does not mean that there's any long-term problems. It means that right now, just like you might get a reading tutor for your first grader who isn't reading on the same, you know, level of other first graders, right? That's okay. It means that they just need a little bit of help, a little bit of boost to get them going so that they can be really set up for success for the future.
Yeah. Getting help doesn't necessarily mean anybody's broken, correct. It just means we're gonna prevent more breaking later. Exactly. It's, it's, you don't want your kid to not be able to read in first grade, because now when they're in third grade and they're still struggling, you're playing more of a catchup game.
Right, exactly. And so it's not about, oh my gosh, my, my child needs a tutor now they're gonna, you know, fail the SATs. Like, no. You know? Right. We're like, that's not at all why you might get your first grader reading tutor. Maybe they just need a little bit of an extra boost. They just need a little bit more time and a little more one-on-one attention.
That's okay. Right? Doesn't mean that they are not going to get into college one day. It just means that right now, in this moment, they need a little extra help, a little bit of a boost to keep up with their class and I, and it, and the same thing goes for babies when they're not keeping up or there's some sort of quality.
Movement that we're like, that doesn't look right. Get some help, because there's, there's nothing, there's no harm in getting extra help at this stage. I really love that message and it just reminded me of a video that I remember going like viral on social media, and I think it was triplets that were like, one was walking one.
Scooting with one hip and the other one was doing something different. And the, the message behind the video was like, don't compare them. They all develop differently. But also what you're saying is maybe this is a sign. You know, there were three babies in that womb. They probably all had very unique and different tension patterns.
And now we're seeing that in, in that. Right there. Right. And I have twins, so I have a natural comparison side by side. Right. With like similar to the triples you have that you're like, oh, I shouldn't compare my babies. 'cause, 'cause there's this message outside of like, you're doing something wrong if you compare.
But when we go to school and we get grades, it's a com it's a comparison Right. Of one to the other. Right. If you're an A student versus a B student, it's. It, it's okay. Maybe this one is meant to be a, you know, math actuary somebody, whatever, and this one is meant to be more creative. Like it, it's just informational and maybe you need to study harder next time or maybe not.
Whatever it is. We're going on a tangent of, of that. I'm trying to just give another example of this idea that. We're not supposed to compare with babies, and yet there's so many other areas in our lives that we do compare, and it's a natural comparison and it's an important comparison. If you don't do well on a test, maybe you need to study harder or maybe that that's not the subject for you.
It's how the human brain works. It's just how the human brain works and it, it doesn't, it's, there's nothing, I agree. There's nothing wrong with comparing because, um, I don't love the word normal. You have no frame of ference for normal. Yeah. Have no typical development. You have no frame of reference for what would be qu normal if you're not comparing.
Yeah. And, and so then things do get missed and, right. I, I'd rather, I don't want parents being anxious, thinking everything's wrong, but I'd rather a parent think something's wrong and bring it up and find out everything's. Fine. Then just sit there and sit back and wait and watch. And we see this with breastfeeding too.
And I had another pt, um, she's a pregnancy physical therapist for the pelvic floor. And we had the same conversation is everybody keeps saying, wait and watch that it's normal. Like, don't like whatever. Everybody's different. Don't worry about it, but. Why, why not just take action? Right. See if we can take action, if we can make it better.
Let somebody who specializes in this give you their input and let you know. Exactly. It, it, it's why waste time? Yeah. I, I see the most, this, the most, and this happens a lot with our, or their tongue tie babies or torticollis babies or reflux, is when they get to the nine month old stage, eight months old, nine months old, and they're, they're sitting, we, we call them happy sitters.
These are the babies that they're just content being placed in sitting and they don't move anywhere. And everyone tells these parents, your baby is just so, so chill. They're so content, they're so happy. And yet the mom is looking around and she's looking at all these other babies and these all, all these other babies are crawling and they're moving and they're going to get their toys.
And they're, they're, you know, all over the place. And they're, ah, I shouldn't compare. I shouldn't compare. Right? My baby is just sitting happily. You know what those babies have? They are tight, too tight. They cannot rotate and get out of sitting. Wow. Those babies are, are, again, have these histories behind them.
Maybe they had a release, maybe they didn't, but. They can't rotate and get themselves outta sitting, so they are stuck. And now you're spending all this time telling yourself that it's just personality and it's just I shouldn't be comparing. And yet your baby is actually physically stuck and can't go anywhere.
And all of a sudden we implement the stretches that I teach in my courses and I help parents with. And literally within days they start moving. They start, they start reaching more. Within weeks we're seeing them get out of sitting on their own. And all of a sudden that motivation to move suddenly appears.
If we don't notice the things that are not, again, these babies are often content. They're happy, they're not crying, but they're not moving the way other babies are moving around. That's information that something is going on. Babies are inherently motivated to want to move, and if your baby's not moving, there's, there's something that we need to take a look at and say, why aren't they moving like all their other peers?
And when we get to the bottom of it, we get, we get to the reason why they're struggling. All of a sudden they're moving like every other baby, and there they go. They are on track with everybody else. Yes. I love that. It's always so important to peel back those layers and get to that root cause or as close to the root as you can.
Right. Exactly. Sometimes Exactly. You, you pull that weed out and the root rips, you don't get the whole root, but you get some of it. Exactly. Exactly. And that's, I, I feel like, and again, this is not bashing on pediatricians, but they have a very limited scope, a very limited ability, and. They're worried about diaper rashes and feeding and sleep schedules and, and all the fevers and the flu, all these things that pediatricians have to know about that I don't know anything about.
Exactly, exactly. Right. Not my domain. But then why do we expect our pediatricians to also be lactation consultants and also be physical therapists and also be speech therapists? They're not, and yet they seem to be the gatekeepers on, on this access. And um, and that's why I wanna share with the. With parents.
You can love your pediatrician, you can trust your pediatrician, and you can also go for more specialized support in these areas where your pediatrician's really not trained. Yeah, absolutely. And if your pediatrician's not super open to it and you do it anyway and you bring that information back, then it's an opportunity for them to learn.
Yeah. So that maybe they will be more willing to give that referral in the future. Yeah. You are your team leader for your baby, not your pediatrician. You're the team leader. Yes. You get to decide who's on your team. I love that. I love that so much that is so in line with everything that I am trying to get these moms to hear, because I had to learn that the hard way.
I had to learn it the really hard way and it's, it's not worth the wasted time because you're afraid of upsetting your pediatrician. Correct, correct. I actually had a, um, somebody message me on Instagram long time ago, and she said, I feel like I'm going behind my pediatrician's back by, by going for therapy at, at the time.
And, and I said to her like that alone, like again, you are your baby's best advocate and you are the team leader. So if you feel nervous about telling your pediatrician that you decided to go for help, like that's. You shouldn't feel that way, right? That that reflects more on the pediatrician than on you doing something wrong.
For sure. Correct. If either your pediatrician is gonna be totally fine with it, and if they're not, then that's maybe a sign to switch pediatricians, because you wanna feel like somebody on your team and at the end of the day, your pediatrician has many, many, many babies that they are caring for and they tell you a bit of advice and then they go home.
And it doesn't mean that they don't care. It just means that they're not with your baby all day. We are with our babies for the rest of their lives. We are right. We are in charge for them, and we have to do our due diligence in helping them. So it's, it's important if you feel like, I can't tell my pediatrician that I did this, then again, either switch pediatricians or, or feel empowered that it's, that it's your decision at the end of the day and your pediatrician is likely gonna be fine with it because they're like, oh, you chose to go.
Okay. Great. Yeah. Especially if you end up having great results, what are they gonna say? Exactly. You shouldn't have done it. Like Exactly. They're not going to care that like, oh, you, I, I told you to wait and see. A lot of times it's because they don't want parents to worry, so they're like, no, don't worry about it.
Just wait and see and you're like, I don't want to, I'm gonna go. And they're like, oh, okay. You decided to go. Okay. Yeah. No, absolutely. I think that's definitely something we don't talk about a lot when we start talking about those kind of challenges with pediatricians is. Most of the time they truly are very genuine and compassionate and well-meaning.
, But they have a limited capacity because they have so much responsibility and it, it's really unfair, like you said before, it, it's really unfair to them. And then they get kind of. Everybody talking crap on them, right? And it, it, it's, it's, again, it just, it comes back to yes, you are in charge of your baby, you're in charge of your family, you're in charge of yourself, and you are the one who needs to put those teen pieces together.
And people who are worth their salt will. Completely support that. And if they're not, then they shouldn't be on your team. Exactly, exactly. There's a plethora of pediatricians out there and you know, it's, it's, they, they're doing what their job is. They want to, it's, again, it's always a balance, even for pediatricians.
Like, do you send every baby out for every referral? Just because of every, you know, my baby isn't sleeping at night. Oh, go to a sleep consultant, my baby isn't babbling. Go to a speech that like, you can go on and on of the list of specialists that they could tell you to go to. And so I'm sure that for pediatricians it's, it's hard balance as well of like, how much do I refer out versus how much do I say?
Like, don't worry. Let's see. It's a balance and that's why you have to be the one that. Really advocate sometimes, and that's hard to do. Can you just remind everybody where they can find you? Yes, yes. So you can find me on any social media platform at Tots on Target, and that's also my website, tots on target.com.
And that's where you can also find more information about my membership, the Tots spot where you can join. It's a monthly or annual membership. , You can also use HSA or FSA accounts to join. , And you get access to all my material and me, , to help you and guide you along and be there to support you every step of the way.
Alright, mama bear. That is a wrap for today. If this episode helps you feel a little more confident or a little more prepared for breastfeeding, can I ask you a quick favor? Go ahead and leave me a review. It helps other moms find this podcast and join us in this amazing community of fierce and confident Mama bears.
And hey, if you know a friend who could use some encouragement or real talk about pregnancy, breastfeeding, and all things motherhood, share this episode with her. You've got this Mama Bear Trust your instincts, stay fierce, and I'll catch you in the next episode.
Jaimie Zaki is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and mom of 5! Jaimie has volunteered as a La Leche League Leader, worked as a nurse, doula, and birth photographer, and is the host of the Breastfeeding With Confidence Podcast and founder of the Confident MamaBear Society. Jaimie provides holistic breastfeeding advice for pregnant & new moms, helping them overcome unexpected latching trouble and milk supply issues. She empowers mothers to make informed decisions from a place of confidence and intuition.
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